Merely Perception

After thinking throughout the whole day, deliberating thoroughly, I've decided to confront.

I have been seeing how Nemo, Lalang, Babyboss, KJ and other people as well, ranting about their superior of how unreasonable they were. I thought of giving advise, telling them try to bear with it cause this is the life. Well, is easy to say but when you'd encountered it, you will realized it was not as easy as you said.

1. Babyboss have told me:

" This world is very sinful"
" In this world, 75% of people are like that; 15% are neutrally selfish, they don't harm you; 7% are nice people, who will help you if they were free; 3 % are genuinely loving & want to see you succeed"
"What you are seeing is probably just the tip of the iceberg..."
" Must learn to tolerate and sway away from them.. is a learning process, you keep walking and learning until the day you die..."

2. KJ told before:

" We have to bear with it. This is the world of working"

I saw her ranting and felt bad for her day numerously. Hearing how pressurized she was.

3. Lalang has been ranting about her job in facebook and her blog.

4. Nemo has been ranting how unreasonable his superior was

5. Peter once said that he has to work for his family.

6. One of my friends told me:

" You got to learn to accept boss that is unreasonable.."
" Don't think jobs have nice employer all the time"

More and more were heard from other people. I guess this is just the world. You will face things that are awkward, people would condemn you eventhough you're not completely wrong, decent superior are hard to be found. At the end of the day, you just have to hack it because sometimes choice is not a word for you. Life is awful, it compels you until you have no right to choose.

Most of the jobs are always tedious no matter how much you like it unless you found a good superior.

Until today, somehow, I know how's the world of adults but not teenagers. There aren't things that always follow your will. You've to acknowledge it.

I will take my mum as a role model. I have not seen the truth of this world.

Before I engage myself in it, I knew the world is made up different kinds of people. I knew there will be always 2 different kind of feelings:

1. Grievances against your superior
2. Delighted and pleased with your work

Throughout the life in band, I've learnt to accept, tolerate, acknowledge, give in & out, endure and much more. These can be done easily when you love with what you're doing. You'll realize you dare to bear with it despite the hardship you've encountered.

But I guess I was not as strong as I thought. I might have just acquired the 75% and yet to mastered the other 25%. I failed in deliberating upon to resume or to drop. But in the end i choose to drop.

I knew I'll disappoint the others. I have yet to achieved the maturity that I should. I thought I was, but it seemed I'm not. I'm still childish as ever. I'm not ready for this world, there are much more to be learnt.

I blamed myself. I chose to leave and this would end up placing suffers to the others. How immature I am.

You guys were great. But I truly apologize that I'm not persevere enough.

I despise myself. I've been thinking throughout this morning. Sitting alone at the sofa and take a deep consideration :

" How are they now?"
" What are they doing?"
" Are they in troubles because of me?"
" I'm such a loser"
" Did they place a high expectation in me for completing this job?"
" They have been treating me so good all these while. We laughed we joked..."
" Did I disappoint him for offering me this job?"
" Maybe he wants me to experience therefore offering me this job"

Will I text " I wish to resume" , " Things were solved and I would like to resume. Is that ok" ? I'm still thinking... But if the Queen was informed & have taken action. I shall dismiss this thought of mine...